


the anticipation of knowing you

by sweetrevenge



Series: Neighbor!AU [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Falling In Love, Fluff, Light Angst, Love Letters, M/M, Neighbors falling in love, Pen Pals, Strangers to Lovers, a vital discussion of the best celebrity chris, and a bit of cowardice but don’t worry it all works out in the end, discussions of murder because of course, lots of CDs, lots of baked good, lots of fluff, they fall for each other quickly I’m sorry it kinda just happened
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:40:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26555224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetrevenge/pseuds/sweetrevenge
Summary: Hello Neighbor!Just wanted to let you know that you were having sex so loud and scarily I called our building manager and security officer because I thought you were hurt.P.S. I sent them away when I heard you yell ‘cock’. I’m sorry that I heard that, but I wanted you to know in case they stopped by to check on you or something.Sorry!Your neighbor Louis Tomlinson in apartment #306After Louis overhears his next door neighbor having sex, he doesn’t really expect anything but awkward hallway encounters to come from it. Instead, he’s surprised to find himself in a whirlwind pen pal relationship with the sweet, albeit loud, baker next door.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne
Series: Neighbor!AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1966321
Comments: 156
Kudos: 668
Collections: Fine Line Fic Fest





	the anticipation of knowing you

**Author's Note:**

> this is inspired by the song ‘Treat People With Kindness’ and my deep yearning for a pen pal who I subsequently fall in love with. It’s also loosely based on this [ tumblr post](https://madphantom.tumblr.com/post/190612773783/lmaaaaao), which is such a fun read.  
>    
> You can reblog the fic moodboard [here!](https://cocoalou.tumblr.com/post/630912444902080512/title-the-anticipation-of-knowing-you-author)  
>    
> I'm on tumblr as cocoalou so please come chat with me [here!](https://cocoalou.tumblr.com/)  
>    
> This fic was written for the [Fine Line Fic Fest](https://finelineficfest.tumblr.com//). Make sure you check out all the other great fics in the collection which can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/FineLineFicFest//)!

Louis didn’t really think anything of it at first. The steady ‘knock, knock, knock’ against his bedroom wall was only sort of distracting him from the hyperactive sound of Leslie Knope’s voice coming from his TV. 

Apartment buildings don’t really give you a chance to have peace and quiet, so Louis had learned to live with the occasional noise from his neighbors. And he wasn’t exactly guiltless, what with the regular conference calls and barks here and there from his dog Cliff. 

So it wasn’t out of the ordinary that Louis barely registered the sounds against his bedroom wall, especially considering the culprit was his next door neighbor and the main offender of the many noises Louis could hear through the walls. 

Louis had grown accustomed to a laundry list of sounds from his quirky wall mate.

Sometimes it was a low voice singing late at night, just barely distinguishable as Louis fell asleep. It was a quick bark of laughter followed by a couple of giggles. Or it was the steady line of bass on the odd Friday or Saturday night that Louis would stay in instead of hitting the pub with Zayn and Liam. And sometimes it was even the twang of a guitar or the sound of a shrill alarm each morning around 4:00. Whoever lived next door wasn’t quiet and even though he had yet to actually see the guy who had an affinity for show tunes and getting up obscenely early, Louis was sort of used to him.

Tonight though, the knocking noise against his wall was starting to grate at him. For once, he wanted some peace and quiet.

Louis turned up the sound of his TV, and said a quick prayer to the God of fancy speakers, trying to tune out the now monotonous sound of whatever was knocking against the wall. What was he doing? Why did he feel the need to do so while Louis was relaxing? Didn’t he know that he had a long, stressful day full of meetings?

He tried to enjoy the episode, still laughing at all the appropriate spots, but as the minutes dragged on, the knocks began to steadily increase in both frequency and volume. 

Plus, now it sounded like his neighbor was saying something. Louis turned up the volume again. The voice just got louder in response. 

Despite the noise, Cliff hadn’t woken up from the deep snuffling slumber he was currently in. Dogs, bloody useless. Wasn’t he supposed to be disgruntled on Louis’ behalf? Maybe a sharp bark to remind his neighbor that there were other people who lived in this complex? Man’s best friend clearly would rather nap than be any sort of a help to his owner.

Louis sighed and reached for the remote, muting the TV so he could get a better sense of what was going on next door. Hell, if his neighbor was going to interrupt his night, he was at least going to get some juicy eavesdropping in. 

Getting up on his knees against his pillows, Louis pushed his ear against the cool wall behind him, the same wall his bed rested against and the same wall the knocks were emanating from.

He couldn’t stop the blush that bloomed across his face. Really, was his Tuesday night this boring that he needed to eavesdrop on his noisy neighbor? He needed a boyfriend like….yesterday. Someone who would pause Parks and Rec to cuddle Louis to distract him from his neighbor. Someone who would tell him to forget it and go down on him instead. You know… just boyfriend things. 

Or at least someone who would join in on the eavesdropping.

Louis held his breath as he listened against the wall, embarrassing self pitying thoughts disappearing at the sound of a sharp cry. Immediately, Louis flinched back. His stomach dropped to his feet, blood turning cold. Was his neighbor...crying? 

Louis could feel an overwhelming sense of dread tickling at his consciousness as he smushed his ear harder against the wall, desperate to hear more.

“Oh God. Oh nooo. Noooo. Oh God.” His neighbor’s voice echoed through the wall, feeble and weak. It's followed by what sounds like a yelp of pain and a scream through the wall.

“Shit,” Louis whispered to himself. That did not sound good.

“Uhhhhhh please please.”

“Shit. Shit. Shit.” Louis was trembling now, launching off the bed to find his phone across the room. The sounds in the wall were no longer annoying. They were downright terrifying.

With unsteady hands, he finds the number for the building manager, Mary, clicking ‘call’ before he could think about it further. The only thing echoing through his brain was the sound of his neighbor's voice crying “please, please”, and the insistent need to _do something_ about it.

Thankfully, she picks up almost immediately. 

“Hi Mary, this is Louis Tomlinson in apartment 306. I’m not sure if I am supposed to call you or not but I think my neighbor is in danger.” Louis whispers. He’s back on the bed, trying to listen for anything else his neighbor might be able to give him.

“Danger? Mr. Tomlinson what is going on?” she asks. Mary doesn’t really seem to be getting the gravity of the situation, in fact, she sounds a bit bored and a lot skeptical. 

“That’s what it sounds like, yes.” Louis snaps back, slouching against the pillows. He tucks his free hand under his thigh to keep it from trembling. He’s always liked Mary but she needs to get her shit together immediately.

There’s another loud knock against the wall and Louis yelps into the phone. He holds his breath again, listening intently. 

“Should I call 911?” He wants to sink into the mattress or hide in the closet. “Should I go over there?”

“No, don’t go over there. I’ll have the building’s security officer head upstairs. Do you know which apartment it is, Mr. Tomlinson?”

“Yes, 307. The corner apartment.” Louis whispers. “Can you please hurry?” 

“I just need to call him over, can you stay on the line please?” She asks. Louis is at least relieved to hear newfound concern laced in her voice.

“Yes.” Louis answers, but he just can’t help but feel that it’s not good enough. 

He’s seriously contemplating jumping from bed and running next door when the sounds resume. 

“Oh please, YES!” The voice screams now. Louis freezes, holding his breath. Now _that_ didn’t exactly sound like a man in pain.

Louis strains against the wall again, his ear glued uncomfortably against the cold wall. He’s listening as hard as he can when his neighbor straight up _moans_. The sound goes directly to his cock. 

Yeah, he’s definitely not in pain then. 

“Oh, fuck yes, that feels so fucking good.” His neighbor moans even louder and Louis forgets to breathe. “That feels so good. Oh God, my cock.” 

What follows is a litany of little “ohs”, streaming prettily through the thin walls. Louis’ half hard at this point, a miraculous turnaround from the worry that raked his body just moments ago. He can feel the heat on his cheeks and he’s immensely thankful he’s on the phone and not talking to Mary in person.

He’s brought back to earth to a voice coming back on the line. “Mr. Tomlinson? We are heading upstairs right now, can you still hear your neighbor?” 

“NO! Never mind” Louis interrupts. He needs to fix this, like now. 

Backpedaling, he hysterically repeats himself. “No! I um, misheard. Everything’s okay.”

“Are you sure, Mr. Tomlinson? I would feel more comfortable if we made sure the resident in apartment 307 was safe and secure.” 

Oh good, now Mary is desperate to believe him. Just in time to ruin his poor neighbor’s sexy night in with his date with his meddling and eavesdropping. Why couldn’t he have just waited two more minutes before absolutely blowing everything out of proportion? 

“Oh, please don’t send anyone. I was completely mistaken. It has um, come to my attention that uh - he must have a guest over.” Louis tries to explain. 

“A guest? Mr. Tomlinson, are you in danger?” Mary sounds even more alarmed. He’s really bungling this, isn’t he?

“No! I’m not in danger, I just overreacted.” Louis protests. He can feel his heart beating heavily in his chest.

“He’s perfectly fine.” Louis tries to explain, _again_. He can hear her start to object. 

“For goodness sake, he’s having sex!” Louis exclaims, clenching his jaw. “I made a _horrible_ mistake and he’s completely fine. What I thought was, um, the sound of distress I have uh..” A loud moan punctuates Louis’ sentence. “uh, quickly come to learn is the absolute opposite.” 

There’s a moment of silence before he hears Mary take in a deep breath.

“Oh. I understand. Um. well have a nice day Mr. Tomlinson. Stay safe.” She hangs up the phone rather quickly after that. Louis understands her pain.

He throws his phone to his bed and groans, Cliff somehow _still_ asleep through the panicked phone call and now sexual frustration Louis is experiencing. He sighs against his pillows, embarrassment tickling at the back of his neck as he replays the last ten minutes of the night. He feels a bit foolish. Okay, very foolish. Extremely foolish.

To be fair, he thinks to himself, someone yelling ‘oh no’ and ‘please please’ followed by very scary screams during sex isn’t exactly the most reassuring thing to hear. He wonders what exactly his neighbor is into in bed before banishing the thought from his mind completely. He definitely doesn’t need to go down that wormhole right now and feels bad enough that he overheard a _stranger_ during their most private, intimate moment. 

He picks up the remote again and punches the volume up. It’s probably too high but he’s not going to be creepy any longer and listen to his neighbor having a fun night in thank you very much. 

He snuggles up to Cliff and tries to focus on the episode he’s seen probably twelve times already, half horny and desperately wishing he was spooning a man instead of his dog. 

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

It’s not until half past eleven that Louis shoots awake from where he’s almost asleep, nestled in his covers and face full of dog fur. Oh God, he thinks, what if Mary decides to check-in with his neighbor, or email him about it or something. Then this neighbor will know he heard! And told on him! Well, told on him in the sense that he tried to protect him from a phantom invader in his home. 

Plus, Louis will have completely betrayed his neighbor by exposing his sexy-times to Mary! Mary, their 55 year old building manager who puts out hard candies and wears embroidered turtlenecks. Louis can’t do that to him, especially since he’s probably just a nice, normal guy, albeit pretty vocal in bed. Which, obviously, Louis won’t say to him. Or talk about it… at least not anywhere but his imagination. 

Louis’ already embarrassed just thinking about it so he steels himself and walks to his desk to hastily write a note to his neighbor:

_Feb 17th_

_Hello Neighbor!_

_Just wanted to let you know that you were having sex so loud and scarily I called our building manager and security officer because I thought you were hurt._

_P.S. I sent them away when I heard you yell ‘cock’. I’m sorry that I heard that, but I wanted you to know in case they stopped by to check on you or something._

_Sorry!_

_Your neighbor Louis Tomlinson in apartment #306_

He folds up the note carefully, dropping it in a spare envelope from his desk drawer before tip-toeing into the hall to his neighbor’s apartment. There’s a sliver of space where he can push the note half under the door and half under the rainbow welcome mat on his doorstep. 

He secures the note as quickly as possible before sprinting back to the safety of his own home. He can’t think of anything more embarrassing than being caught leaving that note. Well, maybe getting caught having sex by his neighbor would be as embarassing. 

Once he’s safely indoors, deadbolt secured and bedroom door locked, Louis lets himself breathe. 

Well, he tries to breathe. He tries to clear his head. Even though the moans have long since stopped and there's no noise filtering through the wall, Louis can’t help but think about it. Can’t help being a little interested in exactly what his neighbor is into in bed. 

Hours later, Louis falls into a fitful sleep to the sound of those gentle moans bubbling around in his head, steadfastly ignoring how his cock perks in interest each time he closes his eyes and lets himself think about what his neighbor and his date must have been doing. 

He really should invest in some ear plugs. 

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


The next morning, Louis wakes up hard. It’s not like it’s a unique circumstance. He’s been single for well over a year but it’s never been so _prominent_. Shame floods through him all over again. 

He’s really, truly embarrassing. Fantasizing about a faceless neighbor and his boyfriend? Girlfriend? Date? 

Pitiful. 

He pulls out his phone to text Liam. He’ll let him complain about being single. 

**Last night my neighbor was having sex so loud I heard it through the wall. Why is everyone dating except meeeeeee :(**

_Sexy! U know you could date literally anyone. My coworker mike asks about you all the time. He has more abs then me!!!!_

**Liam - I don’t want to date a personal trainer. It’s bad enough you’re in my life telling me to cut back on my cheese toasties, I don’t need it from a boyfriend.**

_Try grindr or bumble! Or tinder! Or whatevr else is out there. Idk_

**I hate dating apps, Liam.**

Honestly, fuck Liam and his perfect body and perfect relationship. Maybe Zayn will offer him the sympathy he’s craving.

**Zayn, your bf is incredibly rude. Is it too much to ask for a sexy, tall, tattooed boyfriend who will bake me things?**

Mmmm no Lou, of course not. You deserve the world babe xx

**Okay well then find me someone.**

Li was telling me about his coworker Mike. He’s fit. Got one wonky eyebrow tho

**You two are useless.**

Louis throws his phone. Fuck Zayn too, then. Not everyone has been dating their soulmate since age 19, thank you very much. 

Frustrated, Louis launches himself out of bed with a huff, steadfastly ignoring what’s happening below his waist and instead tries to go about his morning routine like normal.

He pops on his shoes to take Cliff for a long walk around the neighborhood, all the while trying not to think about how the sound of his neighbor moaning is what played on a loop in his head as he fell asleep _and_ has been creeping in and out of his consciousness as he tries to focus on the music blaring in his ears. 

So he should maybe go out and get laid.

When he gets back to his apartment, sufficiently sweaty with Cliff panting at his side, he stops in his tracks once he reaches his door. There’s a small envelope perched delicately in between the pinecones of the Christmas wreath that yes, is still on his door, over a month after Christmas. He snatches the note hurriedly and rips it open.

_Feb 18th_

_Dear Neighbor,_

_My sincerest apologies for the disturbance last night. I had way too much to drink and was_ _completely_ _unaware of how loud I was being. It was truly an embarrassing occurrence for me and a lesson learned! I assure you, it will_ _not_ _happen again. If it makes you feel any better, I wasn’t exactly with anyone last night, I was all alone. That’s what I get for trying to do a little self care! As an offering of my deepest, most heartfelt remorse, I’d love to treat you to a tea or coffee. On me! I’m sorry again!_

_With kindness,_

_Harry Styles_

_P.S. The muffins are banana walnut, I hope you like them!_

_P.P.S. I’m sorry for all the exclamation points. Just re-read this letter and realized I used like 20 of them._

Louis blinks slowly. Well, that was unexpected. He looks down at his welcome mat, noticing that at the seam of his door there’s a small Tupperware container with a post-it note on top. There’s a little rainbow on it and a smiley face, plus what Louis surmises is his neighbor, Harry Styles’, signature. 

A little ‘x’ followed by an ‘H’. 

It’s very cute and definitely unexpected.

Louis reaches down and scoops up the container as he lets himself back into his apartment. Cliff immediately lapping up water and the remnants of his breakfast as Louis pours himself a large cup of coffee, forever thankful that he's in possession of a coffee maker that is set on a timer so that he doesn’t have to mess with it every morning.

He sips at it slowly, trying to stave off the sleepiness of the night before as he examines the Tupperware container. When he finally opens it, after carefully removing the post-it note and popping it on his fridge with a magnet, the most delectable smell floats out. It smells like butter and cinnamon and bananas and Louis can feel himself salivate.

**What’s the verdict on eating baked goods from my neighbor. I sort of…. did him a favor and then he left these for me….**

His phone pings just as he finishes adding cream to his coffee. 

_No! Louis, that is a very bad idea!_

Don’t listen to Liam. Those look fucking sick, man. I’d say go for it. Hell, what favor did you do to deserve those?

_Zayn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

_Louis, dnt_

_*on’t_

_**don’t_

**I sort of heard him wanking last night…. then called the building manager… because i thought he was in danger… but he wasn’t.. so then I had to call them off.**

Louis what the fuck

**I mean, it sounded like he was in pain or summat. I just wanted to make sure. Anyways I left him a note last night just to let him know what happened and he went and apologized to ME for being loud.**

Ur life is something else, man

**His note was really cute though. All these exclamation points. U know how i feel about excessive punctuation**

Oh, we know babes. U love it……………………. 

_DO NOT EAT THE MUFFINS LOUIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

**Shut it Liam, I only needed one of you to validate me. I’m eating them, they look insanely good.**

_I feel like ur gonna regret this Lou._

If you get lockjaw, just text us babes, we’ll take you to the hospital

_No we won’t_

Louis takes a bite of the prettiest muffin on top, all golden brown with sugar and cinnamon on top, a massive walnut sticking out from the crumbles on top. 

“Holy shit.” Louis can’t help but react out loud. This is the best fucking muffin he’s ever had.

**This is the best fucking muffin I’ve ever had**

_RIP Louis_

I’m jealous

**Also, Liam. Stop sending me Mike’s number and stop trying to set me up with him. I’ve seen him order food at restaurants before, remember. Fucking salads all the time. With no cheese!! Or dressing! I can’t live a life like that. Can you imagine what he’d try to cook for me. No thx.**

_I’ll stop trying to set you up with him wen u stop eating pastries from strange men._

**On second thought….**

He sends a selfie to the group, a second muffin smushed in his mouth.

_This guy is a STRANGER lou A STRANGER!! He could be poisoning you, I’m telling ya._

Babeeee, I highly doubt louis’ nice pastry-making neighbor is poisoning him. There’d be an instant trail back to him! 

**I’m with Z**

_Haven’t u listened to a podcast ever b4??? This is textbook murderer._

**Liam relax, I’m fine.**

_Well I’m sorry for being worried that we’ll find our best friend chopped up into little pieces inside a suitcase, all because some random WERDO gave him some muffins._

***WEIRDO**

**Love you guys! Have a good day and don’t worry Lim, I’ll let you know if I die.**

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


Later that night, after he’s done with work and has polished off all six muffins in the Tupperware, Louis thinks it’s only polite to respond to Harry’s note. I mean, he gave him muffins, for goodness sake. 

_Feb 18th_

_Hi Harry,_

_First off, there’s no need to apologize. No need to be embarrassed. We all need….. self care! I wanted to reply to your note to say that your offer of coffee or tea is completely unneeded. I’ve got a handy dandy coffee maker that might be loud and obnoxious and 10 years old, but gets the job done for me every morning. Maybe when it finally collapses and dies I’ll take you up on that offer._

_That being said, the muffins were absolutely sick, mate! I loved them but you definitely did not need to do that, though I’m a bit embarrassed at the speed in which I ate them. Though, to be fair, my dog accidentally (purposefully jumped on the counter, more like) ate one. He seemed to like it though._

_I washed the Tupperware, which I’ll set on your welcome mat. Have a great day!_

_Louis_

_P.S. The more exclamation points, the better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also, is your name really Harry Styles?_

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

The next morning, there’s another note tucked into his wreath when he gets back from his walk and another Tupperware container as well as a plastic bag full of _something_ on his welcome mat. Louis feels himself grin at the sight. He grabs the letter and the Tupperware and goes inside, wanting to read the newest note in the comfort of his own kitchen.

_Feb 19th_

_Louis,_

_I will say, I’m almost slightly relieved you didn’t take me up on the offer for a coffee or tea because I’m not sure I could have looked you in the eye just yet. I have no shame, just I think it’s too early in our relationship for me to have made a fool of myself like that._

_I’m so glad you liked the muffins! I’m actually a baker by trade, so I bring home a lot of extras and I’m always trying out new recipes. Do you have any favorite flavors or pastries? I figure the least I can do is send over a couple of baked goods now and then._

_With kindness,_

_Harry (yes my last name is Styles, I swear)_

_P.S. Since I don’t know your preferences yet, these are a couple of chocolate croissants (my speciality) I figure no one can resist them._

_P.P.S. I included a couple of pumpkin dog biscuits, for your dog (what’s his name?), so that you can feel like he’s included.._

_P.P.P.S. So glad you feel the same way about exclamation points!!!!!!_

_P.P.P.P.S. Sorry for so many P.S.’s (is that the right grammar for this?)_

Louis can’t help but blush at the note. Why is he so impossibly endeared by his neighbor. For goodness sake, he overheard him absolutely going wild masturbating and now, Louis just wants to wrap him up with a little bow and have him live in his pocket, sprinkling baked goods and exclamation points all over his daily life. 

He secures the newest letter and the newest post-it note. This time it has a little dog bone accompanied by his standard ‘x H’. 

He tears open the bag and passes a biscuit to Cliff who inhales it with a wag of his tail. Louis then opens the Tupperware, another indescribable smell wafting from inside. 

Way past his nervousness to eat something a stranger left for him, Louis digs in. And well, the croissants are so good that Louis sort of _has_ to send Harry a message complimenting him in return… right?

So, later that night, he finds himself at his desk again, writing out a message to his neighbor to drop off that night and wondering what exactly he’s getting himself into. 

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_Feb 19th_

_Harry,_

_You are honestly doing too much! I’ve never even seen your face and you’ve already become my favorite person. And Cliff's favorite person. (Cliff is my dog, by the way. Clifford for long.) He destroyed those biscuits, you have no idea. I guess I never thought about actually baking a dog biscuit before. I only ever think of them as little chunks ready to go in bags for me at the pet store. I guess someone has to make them, right?_

_Thank you for the croissants, by the way. That’s actually my favorite pastry so you sort of made my day. And to answer your question, croissants are obviously my #1 but I also love muffins of any kind and I’m a sucker for chocolate. Oh and blueberries are great! I think I could go on and on but I’ll just say that I love any and all pastries. I can make myself dinner okay, but have never really gotten the hang of baking. I guess I’m pretty bad at measuring things._

_I think I should mention again how good the croissants were. I can’t stop thinking about them. Honestly, they’re better than the ones I had in Paris the last time i was there, oops!_

_I can tell you’re an actual baker because they taste so professional, if that makes sense. But also very homemade. I’m sorry, I’m bad at complimenting food other than “wow this tastes good”. So I’ll just say, wow! These taste good._

_Louis_

_P.S. I don’t mind the P.S.’s…._

_P.P.S. We’re starting a relationship are we? I’m not that kind of boy, Harold._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


And then, in the morning, again after his walk with Cliff, there’s a letter perched on his wreath and another Tupperware and a plastic bag combo on his welcome mat.

_Feb 20th_

_Louis,_

_WOW! I’ll take the compliment. I used to make those croissants when I started my baking career. My ex-boyfriend hated them, which made me question my entire career choice, but it turns out he was just a shitty person._

_Anyways……_

_I hope the two of you are doing well. I must say, I’m a bit curious about you now. You know what I do… I think it’s only fair that I learn a bit more about you Louis Tomlinson. Have you lived in London long? What do you do for work and for fun??_

_Oh, and when did you move into the building? I moved in a few months ago. I’m really loving it so far. Have you met Mary, the building manager? She’s awesome. Sometimes we play scrabble when she’s on duty and it’s slow._

_Though…. I’m not sure if I can face her now that she knows I am apparently the loudest masturbator alive. Is masturbator a word? Also I can’t believe I wrote that. I am very embarrassed. Don’t mind me. I would have erased that part but I don’t have any white-out._

_Give Cliff a cuddle for me. I really want a dog. Or a cat. I love animals! I only have a fish right now, his name is Tuna. But he’s not a Tuna. He’s a betta fish._

_With kindness,_

_Harry_

_P.S. Your pastry wish is my command! These are blueberry lemon tarts. Sort of a perfect mix of sweet and….. tart. Ha!_

_P.P.S. These dog biscuits are grain free but are flavored with chicken broth... I’m trying out the recipe. Let me know how Cliff likes them._

_P.P.P.S. I guess there’s something about writing letters that means I lose a bit of a filter, so I’m sorry for that. Guess it’s not as embarrassing as what started these messages in the first place, right? Ha again xxx_

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_Feb 20th_

_Harry,_

_Are you kidding me with these tarts? I don’t even know what to say. You were right… it was the perfect mix of tart and sweet. I loved them._

_Also, I’m sorry to hear about your stupid ex-boyfriend. My ex was like that too. And to transition right outta that sob story and into what I do…..I’m a data analyst for a tech company that facilitates the hiring process for other tech companies through our platform. So…. the most boring sounding job alive. I work from home, which is a sick deal. I’ve lived in this building for over a year now and I’ve been in London since I finished Uni up North, so about 8 years now. I really love it!_

_As for fun, I love playing footie and I’m really into comic books. Oh and my best mate owns a tattoo shop a few blocks away and he’s been teaching me a bit. He’s been letting me tattoo him and it’s going…. okay. I also dabble in music. I play piano and like to write, but that’s more of a hobby. I used to go out a lot more, but now that I’m older it’s mostly pub nights with my friends._

_What about you? How long have you been in London and what do you do for fun?_

_Louis_

_P.S. Do you have a way to burn music? I’d love to make you a mix tape or something….. since you keep giving me amazing baked goods as gifts, I want to reciprocate._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_Feb 21st_

_Louis,_

_Your job doesn’t sound boring! Quite the opposite really, I think it’s fascinating. You have to have a certain type of brain to be able to do that sort of stuff, which I definitely don’t. I can barely figure out Instagram if I’m being honest._

_I’ve been in London for about three years now. I spent a couple of years after I finished culinary school in France, studying under a few pastry chefs and bakery owners. I’m now co-owner of a little hole in the wall bakery called Sunflower. It’s not far from here, I don’t know if you’ve heard of it?_

_Anways, that takes up a lot of my time but recently I’ve been able to hire some more bakers because business has been booming! I guess everyone loves a good pastry, huh? x_

_As for fun, I like to read and play golf and travel. And I like to sing. My mate Niall and me sometimes perform at small open mic nights. He’s a wicked guitar player and it helps me work through my fear of public speaking and performing._

_I can’t believe you tattooed your friend. That’s amazing. I have a few tattoos myself, maybe I should try your friend’s shop sometime.._

_P.S. I definitely have a way to burn music and would love your recommendations!_

_P.P.S. Today I made orange blossom madeleines for you and sweet potato bites for Cliff x_

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_Feb 21st_

_Harry,_

_That’s incredible that you’re a bakery owner. I’ll have to check it out sometime._

_Golf, eh? I can’t say that I have ever tried to play golf. It just seems so boring on TV. I guess it might be more fun to play in real life? And open mic nights - you are brave! I’d love to do that sometime with some of the tunes I’ve written but right now I’m still mustering up the courage._

_You have tattoos? That’s awesome. Just a couple? Do you want to get any more? I would highly recommend Zayn’s shop. It’s called ZM Tattoo Parlor - Zayn’s absolutely sick. He’s done quite a few of mine and they’re always great._

_Thanks for the madeleines. I swear, baking is essentially magic to me. I just don’t understand how you make those flavors come out of those little cake things. They were so good._

_I’m long overdue on giving you a gift so I hope you like this CD. This playlist is called “songs to get you out of bed”. It’s all my favorites for those mornings when, you guessed it, you can’t get out of bed._

_Louis_

_P.S. What is YOUR favorite pastry?_

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


The letters don’t stop.

And now, It’s been seven days since Louis first overheard Harry. 

In those seven days, Louis has started to really look forward to the letters and notes that Harry leaves on his door. The letters and notes that inexplicably just...continued.

There’s now long, winding paragraphs in the letters they write to one another and sometimes, they’ll go back and forth three or four times in one day. He really never thought of himself as someone who would enjoying doing… whatever this is…. but it’s quickly becoming the best part of his day. 

Louis is almost surprised they haven’t run into each other yet, but he kind of loves the anonymity. 

Plus, they’re getting into the heavy-hitting stuff now, their friendship blossoming in a way that Louis wasn’t expecting, but welcomes.

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_Feb 24th_

_…….Harry Harry Harry HAROLD_

_You astound me with your choices. The correct answer is to Fuck Chris Evans, Kill Chris Pratt, and Marry Chris Pine. I can’t believe you would marry Chris Evans over Chris Pine. You can’t have just one night with Chris Pine! He’s a man of leisure. A man of humor! A hunk! You are disrespecting every Chris with your choices……._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_Feb 25th_

_……..Today we sold out of our seasonal macaron in 2 hours!! 2 hours!!!! Can you believe it? The paper is going to do a little write up on us……..._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_Feb 25th_

_……..Hazza, I’m so proud of you! That’s so fucking great. Please tell me you’ll buy me a copy. You deserve this, babe. You deserve so much………….._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

_Feb 26th_

_………..I’m so lucky to have you Louis Tomlinson! Thank you for the CD. “Songs to celebrate Harry Styles” is brill. Did you know that no one’s ever made me a mix tape? That was always something I loved in movies. People making… other people… mixed tapes. They always seemed so fun and special._

_Thank you. Always………._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_Feb 26th_

_…...Haz,_

_Any book recs? I like a thriller. Think Gone Girl… Girl on the Train… that kind of thing. I want a list pronto_

_P.S. have you seen gone girl? And Ben affleck’s dick? I think we should discuss……._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_Feb 26th_

_……….Louuuu, I can’t believe you haven’t seen fleabag. It’s incredible. Phoebe Waller Bridge is just the best. I want us to be friends so bad. I feel like we’d get along great. Oh, and she could introduce me to Andrew Scott. Yum!!!........._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

The letters continue into the next week too and before Louis knows it, he’s been talking to Harry for 14 days non-stop. 

  
  


_Feb 27th_

_Hey H,_

_……...Amazing amazing focaccia! I’m actually quite impressed with how quickly I ate it. Also, how are you liking She-Hulk so far? Xx……..._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_Feb 28th_

_……...Lou, if you could use one spell from the Harry Potter universe, what would it be? And apparating doesn’t count. I think I’d love to be able to use Accio in my daily life. Like when you’re on the couch but you forget something on the counter… just…. Accio crisps! Accio beer! That would be wicked. x…….._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_Feb 29th_

_……...I think my coffee maker is on its last legs, H. She’s sputtering all the time. I don’t know what to get to replace her. There are too many options! I just want something easy._

_I know you’re the expert ;)_

_Do you have any suggestions? Any wisdom you’d like to share with me. I’m astounded by your knowledge of food and drinks, you’re amazing xx…….._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_March 1st_

_……..It took me months to gain perspective on our relationship, but it was just so unhealthy. He didn’t treat me right and I definitely should have done things different personally, but I wasn’t myself. I should have known. He didn’t like pastries. I mean I respect everyone’s choices, but pastries, Lou! That’s my whole thing._

_Thank goodness you like pastries… I’m pretty thankful for your sweetness :)......._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_March 2nd_

_…….So my latest tattoo is a stag. It’s on my arm and pretty big. I got it when I broke up with my ex a year ago. We were together for almost two years. It didn’t end all dramatic, but it was a really hard time in my life. It took me a long time to get through it and figure out my feelings, and the truth is, I don’t think I ever really loved him. That’s hard to say and I can’t believe I’m even writing it, but I know I can trust you Harry._

_Anyways, I wanted to get something big. Something I had always wanted and just didn’t when we were together. Zayn, who I was telling you about, is actually the one who did it…..._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


_March 2nd_

_…….Louis, Tuna has been obsessed with his fish food recently. Is that a thing pets do? Get randomly obsessed with the food they’ve been eating for years already? Does that happen with Cliff? I mean, I know he’s a dog so it’s different, but maybe they share certain characteristics! I think they’d be good friends, Lou._

_P.S. All of our notes about our exes have been so cathartic for me. I don’t know if you’ve felt that way at all either………._

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


On the 14th day, after two weeks of wading through complicated feelings about Harry, he decides to call in reinforcement in the form of Zayn and Liam. A night-in bingeing TV and eating lots of crisps is exactly what he needs. 

“So, I’m still talking to my neighbor.” Louis admits, once they’ve settled in front of the TV to watch The Mandalorian. "We've been, uh, writing each other. Letters. For the past two weeks. Like, a lot. A lot a lot. Like 3-4 times a day a lot. And I know all about him. I know about his job and his family and about that time he broke his big toe on a roller coaster. Oh, and Harry's got this fish named Tuna. Isn't that cute?"

Zayn and Liam just look at him. 

"And he owns a bakery nearby and he makes Cliff treats and he uses a lot of exclamation points and sometimes he'll tell me about his ex-boyfriend." Louis continues. "Oh and he's got tattoos! I mentioned your shop and he wants to try it out."

Zayn and Liam are still just _looking_ at him. Silent. Mouths agape. 

"Okay fine, I know it's weird. I've never seen him before but we've just got this.... _thing_ going on. It feels so natural and right and will you two just fucking speak already?" Louis finally says with a huff, getting more and more frustrated by the lack of response from his supposed best mates. 

"What the hell, Louis." Zayn asks, looking shocked from where he sits on the armchair to Louis’ left, hand stuck deep in a bag of cool ranch Doritos. “Why didn’t you tell us? Also, 2 weeks? 3-4 times a day? Holy shit."

He looks contemplative, even with Doritos dust on his fingers. 

“Uh, yeah. Ever since the _incident_.” Louis explains. He snatches the bag out of Zayn’s hands while he’s distracted. “And he’s still making me baked goods. And um, I'm making him CDs.” 

"You're making him CD's?" Zayn looks flabbergasted. "You've never even made me one!"

"Uh. Yeah. I don't know. It just kind of happened." Louis shrugs, very aware of his own reluctance to share anything having to do with music with his family and friends and very aware that Zayn knows this and has picked up on just how special Harry might be. 

"Also, you're not just making CD's, you're apparently getting this guy's life story. Oh wait, _Harry's_ life story." Zayn says with a smirk. "Cute name."

"Shut up Zayn."

“I’m glad to hear you haven’t been murdered.” Liam says with a pout, finally interjecting. 

Zayn ignores his boyfriend with a fond look and whistles. “Letters and burning CDs. Taking it back to the 90s, are we?”

"Yeah, yeah whatever. So really, what do you guys think? I need help." Louis asks. He's nervous for the feedback he'll get from his friends partly because he trusts them to steer him in the right direction and partly because he's terrified they won't approve. 

Liam pipes up again from the other side of the couch. “I can’t believe it. You’ve never even _seen_ the guy. Isn’t this a little weird?”

“Nah.” Zayn answers. “I might have been shocked at first, Lou, but I think it’s pretty fucking cool. Totally ‘You’ve Got Mail’, except without a corporate fuck boy.”

“Tom Hanks is not a fuck boy, babe.” Liam says, rolling his eyes. 

“He totally is. Well, Joe Fox is. Meg should have run. She would have castrated him on screen then and there if she knew what has become of bookstores in the future thanks to guys like him.”

Louis groans. “I am not having the You’ve Got Mail argument with you two again. Can we get back to my problem, please?”

“It’s a problem, now is it? Why is that.” Zayn asks, smirking. “Is it because you liiiiiikkkkeeee him, Louis?”

“No. Of course not.” 

He’s lying.

“You’re obviously lying, Louis.” Liam says. “Zayn, he’s obviously lying, I’m not sure how he thinks he can get away with this in front of us.”

“Fine, I’m lying. It’s just, it’s been a year since Edgar and I haven’t really liked anyone like this since then and I’m fucking nervous.” Louis says, picking at the label on his beer. He’s finding it hard to look at Zayn and Liam right now. “And yeah, I have no idea what he looks like, not that I care, and it’s all very abstract right now, so I’m worried. Plus, it's only been like 2 weeks! I shouldn't be feeling this way about someone after 2 weeks! 2 weeks of fucking letters! Letters? What the fuck was I thinking? It's not 1733.”

Zayn and Liam look at him carefully before Liam speaks up.

“Okay. First off, it's going to be okay. Second, 2 weeks of non-stop communication is definitely enough time for you to know you like someone. I know we're teasing you a bit and I obviously will always worry about you, especially when it comes to something like this... something with a veritable stranger." Liam says. " _But_ , it's clear at this point Harry's not just a stranger and not just your neighbor anymore. And we're happy for you and will support you no matter what. Especially if you really like him. And I don’t think you should be worried.” Liam scoots closer to Louis on the couch and throws a comforting arm around his shoulder. “It’s okay to be nervous, but I think this could be something really good. Right Zayn?” He asks, looking across to Zayn. 

They share a look, one Louis' recognizes as their "Oh my God I love you so much, we might need to leave soon so we can fuck" look, but he can't really find it in himself to be annoyed by it tonight.

“Absolutely, babes. Explore it. Let whatever happens, happen.”

“This could end up being really great.” Liam says. “And if not, that’s okay too. You are at least making a friend out of it, right?”

Louis feels himself perk up a bit at the comforting litany of affirmations coming from their mouths.

“Yeah? I guess you’re right. I don’t want to worry because shit, I think I could actually like this him more than I do right now, but that makes it all the more real.” Louis says, rubbing his temples. “I feel like I’m in fucking Downton Abbey.”

“I think a lot of us feel like that, Lou.” Liam says seriously. “It’s going to be okay, okay?”

“Okay.”

“All right, good. Now let’s watch baby Yoda.” 

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


Liam and Zayn’s pep talk makes writing his letters to Harry feel even more real. Whether Harry knows it or not, Louis' quickly developing feelings for him are growing and he’s trying not to freak out too much about it. 

It hits him once they reach the three week mark of letters that this whole back and forth might be something very real and very important to Louis, especially considering in all those 24 months of dating Edgar, he had never felt this way once. Had never felt so excited and giddy. Had never felt challenged and intrigued. 

Three weeks. 21 days.

21 days of delicious pastries and baked goods. 21 days of dog treats for Cliff that fill Louis up with white hot adoration towards his faceless neighbor. 21 days of letters and post-its that are now crowding his fridge. 21 days in which the frequency and familiarity of the letters had increased. Louis _knew_ Harry now. Like, very well. He knew about his family in Manchester. He knew about his bad back and his struggle to find a good physical therapist. He knew that Harry preferred Michael Keaton’s Batman to Christian Bale’s Batman (which he was wildly incorrect about and Louis made sure he knew that). He knew that Harry preferred savory pastries even though he made mostly sweet ones for his job. He knew that he was single (okay, this was very good to know) and had been for about six months. He knew that he was definitely interested in men (he had an idea about that from the moment he saw his rainbow welcome mat, but also very good to know). He knew that Harry wanted kids. At least four. 

And in turn, Harry knew him. He knew about his big family and his love for his siblings. He knew about his struggle to find a career path that he really enjoyed. He knew about his fear of rejection when it came to his true passion, music. He knew about his relationship with Edgar. He knew about his deep love for Clifford and his fluffy paws. He knew that Louis loved sweets but couldn’t resist a good English breakfast or Sunday roast. He knew how important Zayn and Liam were to him and how much the trio had grown together over the years. He knew that Louis was single and looking for something big and long-term. He knew that Louis wanted a family. 

And he knew that at this point, he was in deep. Very deep.

The latest letter had been the worst one yet. And the one that had filled Louis with equal parts excitement and fear. 

_March 9th_

_Louis!!!!!_

_Thank you so much for the latest CD. I have to say, I’ve been REALLY enjoying your playlist titles. This one is so good. “Songs for when you’re feeling that certain type of yearning you don’t dare say out loud.”_

_I don’t know how you seem to capture these feelings so perfectly, but you do. You’re talented, Lou. Plus, you seem to pick things that have been swirling in my brain every time I get a new CD. You’re a genius.... I feel so lucky to have been able to learn about you and your brain and your heart through music. It's so clear it's incredibly special to you and in turn, that makes it incredibly special to me. Thank you for opening up to me, I love it. xxxxx_

_Have you been enjoying the last two days of bread? I think the cinnamon apple bread is one of my favorite recipes, but I’m still trying to perfect it. I want it to be a bit less sweet on my next try. Let me know how you felt about it._

_Harry_

_P.S. I’m so glad we met. Or, “met”. Did you know it’s been three weeks now? Maybe it would have been better to meet under different, less embarrassing circumstances, but I’ve loved to get to know you like this. It feels like we’re in a bubble. Or we’re the weirdest pen pals alive! xx_

Yeah, so Louis’ having a time and half with this one. Somehow, through their weird pen-pal relationship, Harry had become an integral part of Louis’ life. And those initial feelings he had had towards him, the ones that made him fantasize about dating Harry and the ones that made him smile because that afternoon’s letter was so damn cute, have erupted into something bigger entirely. Not to mention the fact that the very first thing he heard from Harry, those incredible moans and groans, have been living in his mind rent-free ever since they started sending letters back and forth

It’s not unusual for Louis to think about Harry all day, but today, after getting this particular letter, he’s finding it hard to think about anything _but_ his neighbor and his newest words. He thinks about it during a meeting with his supervisor. He thinks about it on his walk that night with Cliff. He thinks about it walking to the pub to meet up with Liam and Zayn. He thinks about it ordering his drink. He thinks about it when he sits down across from them. 

“So Harry continues to be the sweetest guy alive.”

Liam and Zayn just blink at him. 

“I mean, he’s fucking great.” Louis continues, sighing dramatically. “He might be perfect.”

Liam and Zayn are silent still.

“I mean, we know he's a baker. And he's insanely nice, obviously.” Louis says with a smile, “And did I mention that he makes Cliff biscuits?"

Liam and Zayn share a look. 

“And again and again he reminds me he's single. And gay. And has tattoos. Is he not the exact man I’d create in a lab if I had the ability?” Louis explains. “I mean, no, I haven’t seen his face or body but that doesn’t matter to me. I just like him.”

Zayn just swivels his chair towards the bartender. 

Fine then.

Louis turns and scans Liam’s face. “Again.... are you even listening to me?”

Liam just blinks before he turns to Zayn. They share another long look.

“Um. What the hell was that?” Louis asks.

Finally, Liam smiles. "Was this what I sounded like when I first met Zayn?"

"Liam, what are you on about?"

“You know, you’ve been texting and talking to us about Harry for a week straight now. Ever since that night you spilled the beans. You do realize that, right?” Liam says with a smirk. "I'm just wondering if I was this bad when I met Zayn. I remember talking to you about him but there was no fucking way I was as bad as you are."

Louis falters. 

Zayn swivels back towards Louis, a fresh margarita in his hand. “Louis, I haven’t heard you talk about a guy this much in a long time. Maybe never before. And yes, we know he's a baker and makes biscuits for Cliff and is gay and single and all the things you've been telling us for a week straight.”

"Uh. I don't think I'm _that_ bad." 

"Aww babes, it's okay." Zayn says with a sweet smile. A too-sweet smile, Louis thinks.

“Seriously. We can tell, Lou. It’s okay.” Liam says.

“You can tell what?” 

“That you're falling in love with him.” 

Oh, okay then.

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


That night, when Louis drags himself home from the pub, mind heavy with the realization that he’s falling in love with his pen pal, stomach heavy with the tequila shots he took in order to stamp down his feelings and run away from the incessant teasing from his least-favorite couple, there’s another letter atop his wreath. 

That’s weird, Louis thinks. Though Harry and him have escalated their communication into multiple letters a day, he’s never gotten one this late before. 

With shaky fingers, he plucks it from his door and makes his way inside. Cliff greets him with a wag and a nose nudge before he ambles off to fall back asleep. That’s fine, Louis thinks, didn’t need you anyway. 

There’s something very intense about this letter. Louis hasn’t even opened it yet but the loopy ‘Louis’ on the envelope follows him around the room as he cleans the kitchen and gets ready for bed. 

It’s only when he’s let Cliff out for one last potty break, put on his pajamas, and chugged an aggressive amount of water that he lets himself read it. 

_March 9th_

_Louis,_

_I was too scared to write this in my last letter, but I’m feeling brave now._

_Ever since you sent the last CD, I’ve wanted to ask you something. To be honest, I’ve actually wanted to ask you this for awhile now but I’ve been a bit nervous. Even in writing, it’s scary! Anyways, I’ll just go for it then_

_Louis, I like you a lot. A whole lot. More than I thought I could, especially considering we're communicating through letters and food and CDs._

_Would you like to go out on a date with me? I think we could be something great._

_Yours,_

_Harry_

_P.S. I look forward to hearing from you xxxxx_

Louis is frozen, clutching the small piece of paper in his hands like a vice. He’s having trouble breathing, heart clenching painfully as he reads and re-reads the letter. 

For the first time in three weeks, Louis doesn’t sit down to write a letter back.

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


Louis is a coward. He knows this.

“You’re a coward.” Zayn says, dropping three packs of sugar into his coffee. God, if only Liam could see what was happening to this coffee. “You’re practically in love with him. What’s going on? We talked about this just a few nights ago! You seemed fine and excited about this. Plus, you're straight up obsessed with the guy. I have the texts and snapchats to prove it.”

They’re perched on the stools that sit against the large window of the Starbucks near Zayn and Liam’s apartment. Louis’ been spiraling ever since he got Harry’s latest letter. You know, the one where he confesses his feelings towards Louis. Oh, and the one that made Louis stop communicating with him all together. You know, like a coward.

Louis’ grateful for his hot coffee as he watches Londoners bundled up and scurrying on the sidewalk outside. It comforts Louis to know that at least some people know where they’re going and what they’re doing today. 

“I’m scared Z.” He feels slightly ill. “I know how I feel and I know I was up for it but shit, we’ve only been talking for three weeks! Isn’t this a little much? I mean, I knew that this might happen and god, you know I wanted it to happen, I think I just wasn’t prepared for it to happen within a few hours of realizing the depth of my feelings.” He feels like he’s been talking for hours, but Zayn just listens. “I’m just terrified.

Zayn looks at him appraisingly. “You know, it almost reminds me of your relationship with Edgar, in a way.”

Louis tears his eyes from the outside bustle up to Zayn’s face. “What? Are you serious? We’ve been broken up for over a year Zayn.” 

“I know. But you were so torn up about that relationship and it turns out you didn’t truly love him.” 

“I don’t know what that has to do with Harry.” Louis replies with a huff, taking a long sip of the coffee in front of him. “This is a completely different situation.”

“Sure, it’s a different situation, but think about it.” Zayn says. “It took you a while to get past that relationship and you didn’t even feel that strongly for him. This is the first time since Edgar that you’ve expressed real interest in someone. Hell, this is the first time, ever, I’ve seen you like this. And, you’re falling for him. Hard. And fast. And, you've never seen him. That shit _is_ scary. What if he's different than his letters in person. What if you aren't sexually compatabile. All of these are real, scary issues that I'm sure you're grappling with. Even though you like him so much, those concerns and fears don't just magically go away.”

Zayn pauses, placing a hand on Louis’ thigh. “I can’t imagine how hard it is to have gone through a breakup like the one you had with Edgar. And I know it’s scary to put yourself out there again with Harry. Especially because you’re so close to falling in love with him. It makes it all the more real and the chance of it ending is all the more real too.”

Louis sniffles. Sometimes Zayn can be very perceptive. 

“But Louis, you just have to try sometimes. I think what the two of you have is so special. Don’t deprive yourself of that just because of the past and just because of something you think _might_ happen or the unknown. You’re the one who gets to create your reality. And think about it, even if it doesn't turn out the way you wanted it to, you will never know unless you try. Unless you go for it!”

Louis lets Zayn's words wash over him. All he had thought since Harry had confessed his feelings was what could go _wrong_. He didn't even stop to think about what would happen if it went _right_. 

“Fuck. You’re so fucking right.” Louis says, surrendering to the tears that have been prickling at the edge of his eyes since their conversation started. “As soon as he asked me out and expressed how he felt about me, I just got scared. All I thought about was it ending and I don’t want to do that to me. Or to him. I want to try.”

“I think you’re making the right choice, babes.” Zayn assures him. 

“Fuck, but it’s been days Z, like literally four days since I got that letter. He must think I’m rejecting him at this point.” Louis groans. 

“Yes, you’re a little shit for waiting so long, but I believe in you. Go make this right. If Harry’s who I think he is, he’ll understand.” 

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


After they finish their coffee, Louis leaves, high on Zayn’s words and confident in his next steps. He returns home, stopping off to pick up his packages and mail.

He’s down there, in the mailroom, rifling through the various bills and catalogs when he overhears the deep rumble of someone chatting with their building manager in the office across the hall. The hair on the back of Louis’ neck tingles. He would recognize the timbre of that voice anywhere. 

As quietly as he can, he peers around the corner of the mailroom, glancing into the leasing office across the hallway. There’s a tall, brunette man sitting across from their building manager. He’s got sort of wavy hair and Louis can make out tattoos on his sinewy arms. 

Louis’ pretty sure that’s his baker-extraordinaire, his moaning mystery neighbor, his _Harry_ but he holds his breath to listen for his voice again. 

He tip-toes into the hallway, coming closer to the office door, still hidden by the angle of the open door. As he gets closer, he can finally make out the tail end of their conversation. 

“I understand. I was just hoping that you know, in this instance, you could make an exception.” The man says, who Louis is now definitely sure is Harry, sounding a bit forlorn. 

It’s very cute and instantly fills him with guilt. 

“Mr. Styles, I can see where you’re coming from, honestly.” Their building manager, Mary, replies. “But I think Louis will come around. He’s a darling boy, dear.”

Louis freezes at the mention of his name. His heart is beating wildly now, almost too loud for Louis to continue his eavesdropping. 

“I know.” Harry says, his voice still wavering. “Well, I’ll just have to be patient I guess. 

He can hear Mary hum in response. “Dear, I know you’re worried, but I would give it a few more days. From what I hear, you’re on the way to winning him over, if you haven’t already.” 

Louis can hear Harry start to speak but Mary’s calm voice stops him. “Harry, patience. I know you’re upset, but there’s no use worrying about it just yet.”

He feels even more ill now. It’s obvious that they were talking about him, especially now that it’s been days of no communication between the two of them. Louis knows that Harry misses his mom desperately, and Mary’s friendship over the last few months has been a saving grace for him, but the knowledge that they’re currently having a conversation about _him_ leaves him breathless. 

Louis can hear the two of them wrapping up their conversation, their goodbyes muffled in what Louis can only imagine is the best hug on earth, so he tiptoes back into them mailroom and slots himself against the far end of the wall, just out of sight to anyone who passes by in the hallway. 

He can hear footsteps and then Harry is trotting past the door. Louis feels his breath catch in his throat as he watches him walk away, his front still hidden from view. 

Fuck.

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


Louis waits another ten minutes, frozen and alone in the mailroom, not wanting to cross paths with Harry on his way back up to his apartment. 

When he finally extracts himself from the wall and takes the elevator up to the third floor, walking sadly to his apartment, he’s surprised to see a familiar Tupperware container leaning against his door and he’s even more surprised to see another envelope on his door. 

This time, he doesn’t delay opening it. As soon as he unlocks his apartment, he’s ripping it open and reading the short paragraph within. 

Louis is aware he’s being childish and frankly, quite rude, considering now, four days later, after no response from Louis, Harry left him another letter. And this one is a doozy. It makes his heart constrict painfully, shame and anxiety tickling at the corners of his eyes. 

_March 13th_

_Lou,_

_I just wanted to send this note to say that I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable with my last letter. I am so lucky to be your friend and would never want to jeopardize that. I’m so lucky to have learned so many wonderful things about you and your life through our letters and I trust you completely, as I hope you trust me as well._

_Your happiness is the most important thing to me and I hope we can remain friends, no matter my feelings towards you. These letters over the past month have been bright lights in each and every day. I hope we can meet for a pint soon!_

_With kindness,_

_Harry._

_P.S. These are ‘Friendship Muffins’, which are my newest creation for the bakery. It’s pumpkin with chocolate chips and pepitas. I hope you like them!_

Louis reads the letter again and silently screams in frustration. Harry Styles is the sweetest man in the land and Zayn was right, he’s being a coward. He’s in his own way and that just won’t work, not where there’s a Harry Styles involved. 

He whips out his phone again, determined to set the ball in motion that so desperately needs to be set. 

**I know we talked about this already but I just wanted to reiterate that you’re so fucking right. I’m in my own way. I like him so much. I hope he forgives me.**

Aw yay babes! So proud and happy for you! Li sends his support too. We love you bro, can’t wait to meet him ;)

Li also apologizes for ever thinking he was a killer and asks that when you’re done making passionate love you do not mention these suspicions to Harry 

Louis rolls his eyes. 

**Love you guys too! So much!**

Louis decides he’ll wait until the morning, when he’s had a good night's sleep, to write Harry the best damn letter he’s ever received. 

He goes to bed that night peaceful, Cliff tucked into his side, visions of curly hair swirling in his head, fantasies about what the front of Harry looks like pulling him into a deep slumber. 

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

Louis has taken to wearing earplugs to bed. 

The heavy duty ones that make his head feel fuzzy and white noise flood his brain. 

Ever since he had overheard Harry’s….self care session, Louis has wanted to drown out any sound his neighbor had made. Especially as their letters had continued and Louis had fallen deeper and deeper for Harry. He just wanted some quiet so that he wouldn’t have to hear Harry’s moans anymore, or god forbid someone _with_ Harry. It all felt very uncomfortable, so earplugs had been the solution. 

That’s why, when he’s awakened by a loud knocking at his door, he shoots up in bed. He _never_ hears anything through his ear plugs. Not even Cliff’s loud snoring that typically makes it impossible for him to fall asleep. He glances to the side of the bed Cliff sleeps on to find him trembling in fear. 

Huh. That’s weird.

Then he smells the smoke and panic takes over.

Adrenaline courses through his body and he rushes out of his bedroom towards his front door, the sound of the knocks increasing in volume until he flings it open. He’s immediately hit with the harsh fluorescent lights of the hallways. It blinds him for a minute and as his eyes adjust to the light, what remains in front of him is a frantic looking man. He stands still as he takes him in and then it hits him, this is Harry Styles. _His_ Harry. His Harry whose eyes are ablaze with worry, hair messy, forehead wrinkled in concern all while being enveloped by a fluffy purple robe and slippers. Louis’ not sure what’s going on because all he can see is his Harry. His front side is just as gorgeous as the back of him, eyes green and deep, his arms bulging in his robe. He’s got a soft smattering of facial hair on his cheeks and his hands are large. He’s gesticulating wildly and it’s only then that Louis comes back to earth. 

It sounds like he’s saying something now, but his voice is all muted and blurry. Louis is so disoriented. He’s trying to make out what Harry is apparently now saying louder when he realizes he’s still got his earplugs in. 

He reaches up to remove them and then he’s hit with a barrage of noise. 

Harry is still talking and now Louis can make out him repeating, “Lou, are you listening to me? Are you okay?” He’s got his hands on Louis’ shoulders now, some of the fear that Louis first identified when he opened the door dissipating. 

He focuses on Harry’s voice, deep and smooth, and then the rest of his senses come back to him. He quickly turns around to see his living room in a small cloud of smoke. There’s a sharp beeping emanating from the smoke detector in his living room and Cliff has relocated to the bathroom, shivering and whining at the sound. 

“Oh my god.” Louis says in a whisper, but he feels like his feet are stuck in quicksand. “Oh my god.”

Then there’s a heavy hand on his shoulder and Harry rushes into his apartment. He pulls open the living room windows, turns on the fans, and unplugs his coffeemaker which is sputtering and smoking, obviously the catalyst for this whole situation. 

Louis watches as he grabs a magazine and starts to flush the smoke away from the smoke detector and towards the window. He can’t help but notice the muscles in his arms and back moving, strong and precise, as he helps the chaos to dissipate. 

It’s only a minute or so later that the smoke starts to let up, the outside cold working quickly to circulate the air. He’s never been so grateful for the windows in his apartment. The beeping of the smoke detector finally stops and Harry relaxes, releasing a shaky breath. 

Just then, the buzzer from his intercom rings out. They both jump and Louis tries to walk towards it but he’s still stuck standing in his doorway, unable to really comprehend what’s happening. 

Harry smiles softly and makes his way over to the intercom. 

“Hello?”

“Hi Louis, this is Greg, the security officer.” His voice is tinny through the small intercom. “We were alerted to some noise in your unit and wanted to check in.”

“Thanks Greg, but it’s all taken care of. The coffee maker malfunctioned but there’s no longer a problem up here.” Harry says into the voice box. He sounds like a superhero. Or a firefighter. It’s all very arousing. 

“Thanks for the update. Please be safe.” The intercom fizzles out after that and then it’s silent again. 

Louis just stares at Harry. He’s sort of unable to comprehend that he’s in front of him right now. This has been the weirdest night of his life. 

“I guess you were right.” Harry says, interrupting the silence of the room. 

“What?” Louis is confused. 

He lifts up the coffeemaker. “She really was on her last legs.”

It takes him a minute to comprehend and then he’s laughing, Harry joining in. His laugh is lovely, Louis thinks. He wants to make him again and a lot.

It’s not even that funny, but it cuts the tension that had been building since Harry walked in his apartment. 

"Are you okay?" Harry finally asks once the giggling has petered off. He makes moves towards Louis, but then stops mid-step, obviously unsure of where he stands when it comes to him.

"I'm okay. Do you want to sit?” Louis asks, gesturing towards the couch. It’s pretty clear they need to talk. “I think we need to talk.”

“Sure.” Harry says. He settles against the far end of the couch, opposite Louis. He looks good here, Louis thinks. He looks _right_. Despite his obvious discomfort, Louis thinks Harry being in his home is the most natural and normal thing to happen.

“So.” Louis says, still standing. “Here you are. Harry Styles.” 

“Here I am. And here you are. Louis Tomlinson.” Harry looks tired and a bit sad, but there’s a bit of a twinkle in his eye that Louis wants to expose. 

“This is weird.” Louis says. “How, um. Well. How did you know what was happening?”

“Your smoke detector was going off for like 20 minutes Louis, I pounded on the door for so long I thought I’d have to break it down.” Louis watches as Harry shivers at the memory. “I was so fucking scared. I thought you had collapsed or something.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. And I just heard it and ran over. I know that we left things…. kind of confused. Or, I did, at least.” Harry says. “But I had to come over, you know? I’m sorry.”

This wonderful boy.

“Am I what you were expecting? Or hoping for?” Louis says.

Harry frowns and furrows his brow. This was clearly not what he was expecting Louis to say. “Do you want me to answer that?” 

“I mean, yes.” Louis says, finally moving towards the other end of the couch, settling down across from Harry. “Why wouldn’t I?” 

Harry groans and looks away. “Don’t make me say it, Lou.”

Louis’ body immediately responds to the nickname. He watches Harry’s jaw clench and is overcome with emotion. He can’t really believe that Harry is in front of him, having maybe just saved his life, looking the way he looks, still being interested in him, Louis Tomlinson. 

“Please, Harry.”

He can see the fight leave Harry a minute later, his shoulders relaxing, tiredness evident in every part of his body. 

“Shit, Lou. I mean, what can I say. It wouldn’t have mattered what you looked like. I was so...so… interested in who you were. What you were saying to me everyday. The things I learned about you. The trust we built.” Harry shakes his head and then focuses on Louis, making eye contact. His eyes are dark and they bore into Louis’ soul. “And seeing you here. Now. In front of me. My feelings haven’t changed. You’re…. _everything_ I could have ever wanted.”

Louis smiles. 

“Harry. I like you. So much. You have no idea.” He finally says. 

Harry’s eyes widen, surprise evident in his face, mouth dropping open a bit. He looks like a fish. A cute one, though. Louis hates that he ever made Harry feel surprised at this bit of information. 

Louis knows he needs to explain everything. Needs to give Harry more information, needs to talk about Edgar and his fears and his feelings, needs to express just how much he likes him. But. Looking at him now, fish mouthing and utterly gorgeous, Louis just wants to touch him. Needs to touch him.

Harry’s expectant and surprised face makes the decision for him and he finds himself launching up from where he’s sitting at the edge of the couch. He makes his way to Harry, standing in front of him, looking down at him in his ridiculous purple robe. 

Harry looks confused and goes to open his mouth. Before he can, Louis moves, straddling Harry’s waist and winding his arms around his neck. He settles against his body, which is warm and strong, and he can’t help but feel at home in his lap. 

They’re so close, too. Louis can see every detail of Harry’s face. He can make out the freckles smattering the side of his cheek, the stubble on his jaw that he wants to burn his thighs, the plush pink of his lips. 

Finally, after what feels like a lifetime, Harry’s arms settle on his waist. His touch is tentative, but his hands find a home against his body naturally. It’s scary how well they fit together. 

“Louis, what?” Harry says, his voice trembling. “What are you doing.”

And with as much confidence as he can muster he replies. 

“Kissing you.”

And then he does just that. 

It’s almost as if they’re in slow motion as he leans down to Harry’s lips. He watches Harry’s eyes track the movement and then finally, Harry’s moving too. His chin angling up, meeting in the middle. 

He can feel Harry gasp underneath him when their lips finally meet, his fingers that had been so soft and gentle against his hip moving to grip his cheeks, his jaw, and then the back of his neck, caressing his skin softly. Louis moans quietly when Harry nips at his lower lip, the sharp touch grounding him. 

He sighs happily when they separate a minute later, their bodies still close, noses touching as they smile at each other.

“That might be the best kiss I’ve ever had.” Harry says. He caresses Louis’ bottom lip with his thumb and then he’s leaning in again, kissing Louis even harder and stronger than he had before. 

Louis is inclined to agree.

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

Later, after Louis has apologized and explained himself to Harry. After more kisses and a few tears, Louis feels at peace. It wasn’t as scary as he thought it was going to be and with Harry’s hand in his while he talks, he finds that the words come easy. And he knows that Harry understands his fears because he felt them too.

They’re going to try it. This thing. Now that they’ve admitted how deeply they feel in person, it’s all the more real.

And despite a bit of fear that remains, Louis feels nothing but excitement for his future with Harry. Harry Styles, his favorite pen pal and now, his official boyfriend. 

And finally, once they’ve discarded the faulty coffeemaker and agreed to go shopping for a new one together the next day, Louis shyly invites Harry to stay over. 

“Strictly for cuddles, H!” Louis makes it clear. “No funny business just yet.”

Harry’s responding grin is enough to fuel Louis for a lifetime.

It should maybe feel weird, being that this is the first time they’ve spent time together in real life, but it isn’t. Once again, it feels _right_ and Louis finds that he doesn’t mind having an extra toothbrush in his bathroom and a tall, broad man in his bed. 

* ˚ ✵ · . ✵ 

  
  


“Hey Haz. There’s something I’ve got to know.” Louis whispers, once the two are snuggled up, on the precipice of sleep after their long night. 

“Yeah?” Harry responds, voice muffled by the fluffy covers surrounding them. 

“What exactly were you doing that night I overheard you?” Louis asks. He feels a bit embarrassed by the question, but hey, Harry is his boyfriend now. He sort of deserves to know. 

Harry just laughs, his chest heaving. He turns in Louis’ arms so that they’re eye to eye. 

“Oh babe, don’t worry.” Harry says, dropping a kiss to Louis’ nose. “You’ll soon find out.” 

Louis can’t help the blush that blooms across his face. 

“Oh I will, will I?”

Harry snuggles into his chest and kisses just below the pulse point on his neck. “You will.” 

Excitement thrums through him. How did he get so damn lucky?

“So glad you’re loud in bed, Harry.” 

Harry laughs again. Louis could listen to that forever. He’s hoping he will.

“Me too, babe.” Harry says. 

Their breath begins to even out, sleep curling around the room. 

Louis’ never felt more safe.

Plus it’s silent for the first time in awhile. Just the ambient noise of his fan, Cliff’s snuffling snores, and Harry’s heavy breathing. 

“Oh, Lou. By the way.” Harry starts, voice low. He props his head up against Louis’ chest. He smirks a little before continuing. “I’m not the only one whose loud in bed.”

Louis freezes. What the hell is he talking about?

Harry kisses him. “You didn’t think you were the only one who could hear through the walls, right?”

Oh god, Louis thinks. What is his life?

Harry giggles and just kisses him even deeper, his thumb coming up to smooth out the wrinkle in his forehead. 

Oh, this is his life. And it’s pretty great.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! This is the first time I incorporated ~letters~ in one of my works, I’d love to know if you liked it. Also, I might want to continue this verse at some point, so let me know if you’d be interested in reading more about these two!  
>    
> You can reblog the fic moodboard [here!](https://cocoalou.tumblr.com/post/630912444902080512/title-the-anticipation-of-knowing-you-author)  
>    
> I'm on tumblr as cocoalou so please come chat with me [here!](https://cocoalou.tumblr.com/)  
>    
> If you feel so inclined, comments and kudos are always cherished.


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